New Year, Busy You?

Find below some tips from one of my favourite authors Valorie Burton, Life Coach on how to reclaim your life.

1. Shift your expectations.
Redefine success on a personal level. “All” for one woman is too much for another. You can have it all, but you don’t have to have it all at the same time. Learn to make schedule adjustments based on what most needs your attention rather than attempting to equally balance every activity. Get clear about what is a priority at this stage of your life and take a more relaxed approach to the rest.

2. Establish your non-negotiables.
Eating, sleeping, quality time with your spouse or children— some things on your schedule shouldn’t leave room for negotiation. When you allow these things to be squeezed out, the consequences can be devastating. Decide what is nonnegotiable for you. Then plan the rest of your life around it.

3. Ask for help.
In years of coaching women, I’ve noticed that too many try to go it alone. They don’t ask for help, either out of fear they won’t get it or that others won’t do what they want done as well as they do it. One of the keys to happiness is having a support system and sense of community. What do you need help with? Perhaps it’s the laundry or the cooking, a project at work or picking up the kids from school. Go through each of your to-do’s and ask, “Who could help me with this?”

4. Don’t be a maximizer.
Dr. Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less, says the abundance of choice in today’s culture robs us of satisfaction. To free up time and mental energy, limit your choices throughout the day. Rather than perfecting every decision (what clothes to wear, what to eat, which gadget to buy), establish your minimum standard and then choose the first option that meets your standard. It’s called being a “satisficer” and it’s the opposite of being a “maximizer”—someone who agonizes over every decision to find the perfect choice.

5. Promise little, if anything at all.
Next time someone asks for something, be intentional about not creating pressure by promising what you cannot deliver. “I’ll do it by Friday morning” may be too much. “I’ll do it by next week” gives you wiggle room.

6. Create “fun goals.”
Positive emotion does more than make you happy. It actually expands your capacity to handle adversity, gives you energy and makes you physically healthier. Set “fun goals”—activities that exist for pure joy. Whether it’s a game you play, a fun hobby or an adventure you want to embark on, make sure your goals aren’t all serious. It’s the fun goals that just may give you the extra energy to reach the serious ones. Remember, change is a process, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t reclaim your schedule all at once. Start small, but start now by practicing at least one of these principles this week. Over time, your thinking will shift and your everyday actions will follow.

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