Get a handle on your life |
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Unexpected and unsettling events will occur in life. To ensure your personal happiness you need to be able to handle these events well. You can negotiate the rough bends; with a bit of practice and a growing positive attitude. Perhaps some of these can be useful guidelines to help you wade upstream through the difficult waters.
If you can accept this one basic yet fundamental premise you will find yourself well on the way to a stress free life. You must understand that you can make choices and decisions which may not have the outcomes that you hope for. This is not to say those choices or decision are wrong. Instead there are certain things that there is no way to ensure they turn out as we would like. Much as we can plan, order, design our life, we are sometimes dealt the blow that could potentially destroy our equanimity. So we learn that we can really not control everything.
This is one question that robs us of so much time and energy yet we continually ask; even though we don't get an answer. The question is ‘why me?’ When negative things happen to us we are so consumed by the questions we do not pursue the answers. The answer maybe too difficult to face so we run away from it. Or the answer may be just as simple as perhaps things were to meant to be. Certain things happen to us to build our character and test our faith.
As children we may have had a comfort blanket or reassuring dummy. We don't want to be without it. It may seem cute, a flapping piece of worn yarn trailing after a toddler; but it does not quite fit the image of an adult. When events happen to us that unsettles us or causes concern we naturally want to escape. Go back to our infantile time. We retreat rather than face the situation and acknowledge that indeed we do have make a choice;one which may be painful and unfortunately grown up.
So you now accept that there are things that you cannot control or change. Its is hard but you agree that life is not always fair. More difficult deal with is the fact that you may have to make hard choices. Not only do you have to grow up you also need to take responsibility. Here comes the good news. The response you make can determine the outcome of a situation. Good news? Yes definitely. By knowing you can choose your response, you know actually you can control your result. You, your response, your decisions, your action, not circumstances, people or events, just you. That should make you feel relieved. Now, the only thing you have to worry about is YOU.
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Autumn may signal the start of the cold season, the unwanted transition from warm weather. There is a distinct chill in the air, skies are grey and we could begin to feel slightly down. However this is also the season when the academic year starts in most places. It is a time to look forward to new classes, old or new friends, and different challenges to master.
Why not apply this to the rest of your life? You may not be starting or going back to school but you could be starting a new career, a new business, begin writing that book, de clutter your wardrobe, enjoy the hopes and possibilities that the season brings and allow yourself to be inspired and motivated to start something new.
Autumn does not need to be doom and gloom. Traditionally considered a time of harvest, it can be an opportunity to celebrate the abundance in your life. Take stock of where you are and move into the next phase. This is a great time for new beginnings.
In the spirit of new beginnings, why not
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for free complimentary coaching.
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Signposts on the way to success |
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You know you are on the way to success when you notice these things;
You don't make excuses or fix blame
You focus on your attitude, skills and decisions and no longer point the finger of blame or make excuses. You make choices that are not dependent on your need to please others. Taking personal responsibility for things you do and your responses to the things that happen to you are good signs you are on your way!
You don't look back
Dwelling on unpleasant events in the past will not change them and they certainly won't create the future you want. Part of taking personal responsibility is knowing that you can change your future. By all means learn from the past, but don't obsess, instead recognise how far you have come and how much more you can achieve as you look forward
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I couldn't resist this excerpt from an article by Bruna Martinuzzi entitled, The Talisman of Leadership: Authenticity.
In it she describes those qualities that make a leader stand out from the 'pack'. Qualities such as transparent communication, lucid thinking, directnesss of language, uncompromising ethics and a clear congruence between their internal vision of the world and its outward expression.
These are what she terms as 'the leaves of authenticity'.
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Living your values as a leader every day is an important key component of authentic leadership. However, you need to examine these values periodically to consider their validity in today’s environment. Work-life balance, for example, is no longer a perk – it may be an essential requirement for attracting the best minds to your organization.
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There is a real freedom when we shed all affectation. Are there times in your life when you see yourself being forced to put on a show to make an impression on others? Resolve to stop that, once and for all. Watch yourself soar when you are unencumbered by the weight of pretense. Tell yourself, “I am enough” – and mean it.
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Are there areas in your life where you might lack consistency without intending to? For example, are you kind to some people, but not to others? Are you completely truthful in some circumstances, but not in others? What does this insight tell you?
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Start collecting personal stories that you can use to illustrate to others important aspects of your leadership style, such as, what motivates you to lead; what your philosophy of leading is; and who you are as a person. Personal stories are the most effective form of storytelling for leaders.
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When you are given a script you didn’t write for a presentation that you have to deliver, spend extra time to make the words your own. Purge your presentations of inadvertently inflated language, which often ends with others questioning your authenticity as a speaker. For example, replace the words ‘eating establishments’ with ‘restaurants’, ‘learning environments’ with ‘schools’ or ‘universities’, ‘expeditious’ with ‘efficient.’ Take inspiration from Winston Churchill, who said, “Speak in short, homely words of common usage.”
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Are you forced to live in disharmony between who you are and what you do? Have you turned a deaf ear to the whispers of your heart? Resolve today to take action to start the journey back to finding yourself, to reconnecting with your passions and values. If this is not possible for you because of restrictions in your current circumstance, think about small compromises that you can start making right now to be more in a state of harmony.
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If you are an emergent leader, comfortable with seeking approval before making any decisions, develop a plan to start practicing self-reliance. Start with smaller-scale decisions, and progressively move on to more significant ones. Only when you free yourself from the need to have others’ approval can you truly start to evolve into the authentic leader you were meant to be.
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Using Stumbling Blocks as Stepping Stones |
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By: Brian Tracy
Everyone makes mistakes and the busier you are, the more mistakes you will make. The only question is "How well and how effectively do you deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life?"
In this newsletter, you learn the difference between a positive and negative worldview. You learn how to benefit from your mistakes and how to remain positive in the face of adversity.
Let the Light Shine In
This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won't make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.
Using Stumbling Blocks as Stepping Stones
There are two ways to look at the world: the benevolent way or the malevolent way. People with a malevolent or negative worldview take a victim stance, seeing life as a continuous succession of problems and a process of unfairness and oppression. They don't expect a lot and they don't get much. When things go wrong, they shrug their shoulders and passively accept that this is the way life is and there isn't anything they can do to make it better.
On the other hand, people with a benevolent or positive worldview see the world around them as filled with opportunities and possibilities. They believe that everything happens as part of a great process designed to make them successful and happy. They approach their lives, their work, and their relationships with optimism, cheerfulness, and a general attitude of positive expectations. They expect a lot and they are seldom disappointed.
Read more from Brian Tracy http://www.briantracy.com
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